What do you do when the rug is pulled out from under you? I know it’s been a minute since I’ve written. As I see it, it’s only been a disservice to me. One word has recently shaken my reality. One simple word. The definition and contents of its existence have redefined the sense of time, space, and put every single priority in a new place. One word reverberated through my being and family as it was gently spoken to me, hesitantly.
I used to have the things that were important to me, the non-negotiables, as I’d formerly seen. But when this word comes flying into your galaxy you can only bow to what you can’t begin understanding.
We only have one life. Only one moment is given at a time. What we do with these moments is up to us, no one else. This is a scary and beautiful responsibility that each of us, as part of humanity, are sharing. I’ve started once again practicing saying, “No,” to what really doesn’t matter, and “Yes,” to what I want forever. I thought at one point I wanted the perfect physique, to be strong, to accomplish so many things, and to continue goal chasing. None of these things are bad, just an aside to keep from misunderstanding. But now I seem to cling to family, sunsets on the beach, connecting over food and drinks, sitting in company silently and accepting the beauty of the human with me.
Maybe one word was all I was needing; one word to set me right, to forget futile fights, and strive for real life.
Cancer spoke death in its message, but I’ve found even the seemingly worse things can bring about a hidden and mysterious beauty.
To living, B.