Prove Me.

When they say “the possibility of cancer” and you’re not sure how to answer.

Do I run or do I fight? It’s the basic question when confronted with a threat — fight or flight when you’re hit with stress.

My immediate response to those words rolling off her tongue was to throw punches to shove them back where they came from and say, “Hell no, you take those words elsewhere, buddy.” Yet I would never want them carried elsewhere or to any other.

Then I delayed scheduling my next test and appointment. Avoidance. Straight up avoidance. Sayonara, I’m headed for the hills, fields, woods–yeah, I’ll get lost out here. “Surely such a theory is incorrect. I’m too young for this,” I thought to myself, as if there is a minimum in years of life to protect from the brevity of reality.

I’m currently in the waiting and have been for weeks, of my own delay. Why am I so afraid of what someone can say?

I’ve questioned everything feeling the gravity of my humanity. Do I have any regrets, can I make any changes, do I still have those chances? What risks can I take, why have I been playing life so safe?

Maybe those words she spoke are simply a mistake. Look, you’ve got to prove it to me. But this process of proving is testing more than just my body. They’ve tested my heart and sifted through my life. For that, I am grateful. But I daresay, life isn’t safe, no one remains unscathed, and everyday you confront a threat is a chance to step up to the plate and prove you’re brave.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s